Menchov, I said to Menchov, are you ready for the ball, I said. No, Menchov said, I am not going to the ball, he said. Balls to the ball, he said, untying his tie. Menchov, I said, the mayor is giving you the key to the city, I said. Yes, Menchov said, the so-called key to the city, he said, taking off his tuxedo coat. The mayor is giving me the so-called key to the city, but I do not want the key to this city, said Menchov, removing his suspenders.

--from "Menchov Gets the Key to the City" by M.T. Fallon, in Everyday Genius