Dancing On Fly Ash: One Hundred Word Stories
Dancing On Fly Ash:
One Hundred Word Stories
by Matt Bell and Josh Maday
ISBN: 978-1-4116-8774-5
Dancing On Fly Ash: One Hundred Word Stories contains over sixty stories, each one shorter than one hundred words, ranging in tone from humor to drama, from gritty reality to absurd surrealism.
Inside, a celebrity plane crash is picked over by grave-robbing memorabilia hunters. Image consultants dispense career advice to both Keanu Reeves and the President of the United States. Lawyers are purchased in pet stores and retirees crowded into prisons. A lottery ticket holds one woman’s only chance for salvation, while elsewhere a long-lost husband pretends to need directions to a home he never should have left. One child becomes a cyborg to facilitate a divorce as another tortures sunflowers for their secrets.
Originally written for dancingonflyash.com, these stories represent the best of that website’s first year.
As part of our ongoing commitment to the free exchange of ideas and art, you may also download a free copy of Dancing On Fly Ash: One Hundred Word Stories by clicking here.
The Archives (Oct. 2004 to Aug. 2006):
Entries by Category
Click on a category below to view a list of all entries within that category.
- Delta College Invades Fly Ash! (5)
- Josh's Stories (227)
- Matt's Stories (253)
- Published (2)
- Reviews of Dancing On Fly Ash (1)
- Site News (8)
- Upcoming Events (3)
- Web Sites (2)
- Worth Reading (5)
Entries by Title
Click on an entry title below to view the full text of that entry.
- " . . . And Knowing is Half the Battle"
- "A Decisive Moment"
- "A Diagnostic Check For Customer #450623120"
- "A Magician In Handcuffs Is The Saddest Thing"
- "A Melodramatic Conversation About That One Thing"
- "A Moral Lesson In Keeping Your Fingers Out Of The Pot (Or In This Case, The Pie)"
- "A Mother's Faith"
- "A Russian Celebrity Memorabilia Maintenance Man Laments the Poor Handling of Human History"
- "A Sad State Of Affairs"
- "A Snippet of Advice Received by a Young Writer on Hemingway’s Doorstep"
- "A Wedding Song, But Not For You And Me"
- "A.Z. In The House Of David"
- "Above All, Art Must Be Universal"
- "Aeropostale, Here I Come"
- "After A Kind of Blue: In C"
- "After Battlo/Luz: # III"
- "After Battlo/Luz: # V"
- "After La Daquesa Blanca (The White Princess/after Goya)"
- "After Violets For Her Furs"
- "All The Words Are Lies, All The Songs Are True"
- "All the World for Sale"
- "Alpha Mom"
- "American Doe's Open Letter to Jean Baudrillard"
- "American Holiday"
- "American Self: A La Carte, A La Mode"
- "Americans on Strike: People Quit Working, Buying"
- "Amidst the Artists' Revolution"
- "An Etiquette Lesson Caused By Poor Customer Service"
- "An Execution In Texas, or, Where’s Your Pro-Life Rally Now?"
- "An Unexpected Phone Call"
- "Angels Under Fire"
- "Another New Guy"
- "Another Tough Guy"
- "Antabutt"
- "Ants Go Marching"
- "Apotemnophilia"
- "Artist at Work"
- "BS For Sale"
- "Battle Scars and Bragging Rights (Remix)"
- "Battle Scars and Bragging Rights"
- "Beauty-Forever"
- "Best Of: Daddy's Little Girls"
- "Best Of: Like Father, Like Son”
- "Best Of: Lucky Penny at the Bus Stop"
- "Best Of: Pop Quiz: Question #22"
- "Best Of: The Birthday Gift"
- "Best Of: The Burglar's Girl"
- "Best Of: The Sunflower Confessions"
- "Best Of: Who The Story Happened To"
- "Bestiary"
- "Bravery on the Battlefield"
- "Call Today for Your Ronco New Beginning™"
- "Calvin's Financial Predictions: A Bull Market"
- "Captive Audience"
- "Celebrities Belong to Everyone"
- "Choking Hazard"
- "Community Health Awareness"
- "Complications of Modern Life: 100mg of Happiness"
- "Complications of Modern Life: Black Friday"
- "Complications of Modern Life: Moving Mountains"
- "Complications of Modern Life: Preston's Problem"
- "Complications of Modern Life: The New Discipline"
- "Concerning The Night Many Refunds Were Given At The Circus"
- "Concerning The Woman On The Stairs Above"
- "Cubicle Problem No. 4: Geometry"
- "Curious George and the Woman in the Yellow Hair"
- "Custard’s Last Stand"
- "Daddy's Little Girls"
- "Damn Newbies Anyway"
- "Darwin's Witnesses"
- "David the Diamond, Evangelist in the Rough"
- "Dealing Celebrity Memorabilia to the Picky Higher-Ups"
- "Derrida Died Yesterday"
- "Despair: A Picture's Worth A Hundred Words"
- "Don't Miss The Latest Reality TV Phenomenon! Hunt and Gather"
- "Drunk Dialing from the Oval Office"
- "Each Seed You Swallow Doubles Your Destiny: Vic's Monologue"
- "Early Bird Beats the Worms"
- "Emergent Geography"
- "Enforcing Freedom"
- "Eugene Just Listened"
- "Evacuation Blues"
- "Everywhere Isn’t Enough, But It's Close"
- "Exclusive Interview with the Driver of the Ice Cream Truck Recently Attacked"
- "Exodus"
- "Far Above The Last Day"
- "Fighting the War at Home"
- "First Night At The Hollywood Homeless Shelter"
- "First Thing When I Get Out . . ."
- "First Time at the Intellectual Brothel"
- "First Week of Football Practice: August, 90 Degrees"
- "For Ages 3 and Up"
- "Forecast"
- "Found Humor: Created by Changing the Word 'Adoption' in a Handout from a Student Presentation"
- "Found Humor: Created by Changing the Word ‘Adoption’ in a Handout from a Student Presentation, Part 2"
- "Friends in Warm Places"
- "From The Bedroom Of A Dying Mother"
- "Funeral Speech"
- "Genesis"
- "God is in the TV"
- "Goodwill"
- "Hard as Diamonds"
- "Help Center"
- "Her Five Year Plan"
- "Home Alone"
- "Honey, While I'm Away, Could You . . ."
- "How Harold Leaves the Bar"
- "How The Absentminded Scientist Left The Party Then Rejoined It A Moment Later"
- "How The Fighting Bumblebee Will Get His Revenge"
- "How The Plastic Surgeon Saved His Soul"
- "How to Negotiate with a Hammer"
- "I Can Smell the Carnival"
- "I Want To Be a God"
- "I Want You to Hit Me As Hard As You Can (For Chuck Palahniuk)"
- "I'd Rather Be a Scrivener"
- "I'm Not Allowed To Care About The Whales"
- "If Peter Jennings Can Die Of Lung Cancer, Then Anyone Can"
- "In Memoriam"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Eight"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Eleven"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Five"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Four"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Nine"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part One"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Seven"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Six"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Ten"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Thirteen"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Three"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Twelve"
- "Interview with a Dealer of Celebrity Memorabilia, Part Two"
- "Interview with a Drug Dealer via Celebrity Memorabilia (For Josh)"
- "Introduction to Creative Writing: Fiction"
- "Is That What They Call It Now?"
- "It Came From Mr. Pickles!"
- "It Must Have Happened Before . . . (Remix)"
- "It Must Have Happened Before . . ."
- "It's Not Every Day You Take Lunch With Your Favorite Male Soap Star Ever, Especially Ten Minutes After You Meet Him"
- "Jeremiah: 20 years, 9 months, Complains of Fiery Sensation in His Bones"
- "Jesus in Detroit"
- "Job Well Done, Now We Can Sell Your Department"
- "Josh Maday Has Sent You This eBay Item, or What The Devil Is Doing With That Stockpile of Souls"
- "Journey to the Middle of the Earth"
- "Just When You Think It's Safe"
- "Kaila"
- "Kaitlyn"
- "Keats, Bowie, They'll Tell You the Same Thing"
- "Keeping Perspective"
- "Kentucky Derby"
- "Kierkegaard's Love-Sickness Unto Death, or Kierkegaard Returns, for Love"
- "Lessons On Leaving Gracefully"
- "Let's Play Doggie"
- "Life on the Edge in a Hollywood Bathroom"
- "Like a Thief in the Night"
- "Lost in Translation"
- "Lot Visits His Wife"
- "Lucky Boy"
- "Lucky Penny at the Bus Stop"
- "Lunchtime at Levenworth Retirement Community"
- "Madonna's Final Reinvention"
- "Malignancy"
- "Marv the Mason, Not Marv the Duck"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox # Ø (For Matt)"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #1216"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #150.32"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #1681"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #1991"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #3140"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #3145"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #3422"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #3630"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #4110"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #5564"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #563"
- "Missed Connections: Mailbox #7675"
- "Moments Before a Domestic Homicide"
- "More Change Coming"
- "Mosquito Control"
- "Mr. Franklin’s Nurse"
- "Ms. Allein's Invisible Fence"
- "Muse Trouble, or It's Hard to Find Good Help These Days (continued)"
- "Muse Trouble, or It's Hard to Find Good Help These Days"
- "NFL Commercial, Spot #5"
- "Name That Tune . . ."
- "New American Language?"
- "New Guy # 13: Sometimes it Only Takes Once"
- "New Guys Always Get Out of the Dirty Work"
- "New Item on The Menu"
- "Nicholas said..."
- "Nietzsche Lives, Sort of . . . . (Remix)"
- "Nietzsche Lives, Sort of . . . ."
- "Not Kevlar, and Not Very Absorbent, Either"
- "Not Quite Elvis"
- "Not a House, Just a Building"
- "Notes From A Closed Casket Funeral"
- "Ode to My Wallet"
- "Of Garbage Ties"
- "Of The Woman Who Danced Alone"
- "Old Jack's Lesson"
- "On Becoming an Artist"
- "One Day"
- "One Last Day"
- "One More Time"
- "Open Enrollment: The New 700 Club"
- "Operation: Enduring Freedom"
- "Paradise Corporation: 89th Floor"
- "Partial Transcript: Interview With Frank Talbot, Conducted Aboard American Airlines Flight #733"
- "Phantom Kiss"
- "Picking Out the New Family Lawyer"
- "Pink Slips"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #12"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #12"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #14"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #22"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #29"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #37"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #43"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #45"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #49"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #66"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #68"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #69"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #7"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #72"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #8"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #86"
- "Pop Quiz: Question #99"
- "Post-Utopian Society"
- "Prelude To An Abortion"
- "Prepare Your Devil's Horns: The Legend of Stan"
- "Prologue"
- "Radio Fly Ash: Test Run 2"
- "Radio Fly Ash: Test Run"
- "Rationalization/Apology"
- "Rebirth"
- "Reflection Meditation"
- "Regarding Certain Choices Made As A Result Of Poor Marital Counseling"
- "Regarding Differing Philosophies"
- "Regarding Susan, Whose Virginity Was Intact Despite Four Years As Student Body President"
- "Regarding The Second Coming, Which Wasn’t Going Very Well"
- "Regarding the Fish in the Sea"
- "Reinventing the Language"
- "Reinvention: Elvis"
- "Reinvention: God"
- "Reinvention: Macaulay Culkin"
- "Reinvention: Marilyn Manson"
- "Reinvention: Michael Jackson"
- "Reinvention: Paris on Paris"
- "Requiem For A Pop Star"
- "Returning to the Toy Store Twenty Years Later"
- "Reunion on the Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad"
- "Rough-housing 5.1 (Remix)"
- "Rough-housing 5.1"
- "SBC Strike, Seen While Stuck At A Stoplight"
- "SELF: How To Have Your Own Hollywood Wedding on a Tight Budget"
- "Saginaw Summer Crime Parade '05"
- "Score One for the Good Guys"
- "Silencer"
- "Six Months Later, On the Therapist's Couch: Post Consumer Stress Disorder"
- "Solomon, 2014 A.D."
- "Some People Can Be Talked Into Anything"
- "Something To Live For, Found While Stuck In Traffic"
- "Speak to Me"
- "Stevie's New Personal Assistant"
- "Stevie's Personal Assistant Pukes"
- "Storage Units Available: New Dad Special"
- "Strip-Mining Life"
- "Study Time II"
- "Study Time"
- "Surprise For A Girl"
- "Surprise in a Heart-Shaped Bathtub"
- "Sweetest Day"
- "Symbiosis"
- "Talking with a Former Memorabilia Maintenance Man at the Unveiling of Madonna’s Final Reinvention"
- "Tea Time With The Master"
- "Telemarketer #457"
- "Telemarketer #879"
- "Test of Faith"
- "Testimonial"
- "The 220 Pounder"
- "The Amnesiac’s Ball"
- "The Anorexic’s Ball"
- "The Anti-Obesity Activist's Ten Minute Diet"
- "The Assigning of Blame"
- "The Ballerina’s Husband"
- "The Big Cock"
- "The Birthday Gift: The Adversary"
- "The Book of Humanity, Verse 1:1"
- "The Burglar's Girl"
- "The Chef’s Wife: Cooking For Emily"
- "The Chemist’s Ball"
- "The Chinaman’s Curse?"
- "The Dawn of Civilization"
- "The Day Before The Iraqi Accords Are To Be Signed"
- "The Day The Angels First Appeared…"
- "The Day of the Garbage Cans"
- "The Essence of Things"
- "The Evolution of Welfare (Remix)"
- "The Faith Healer's Wife"
- "The Farmer's Monologue"
- "The Final Cut"
- "The First Annual Saginaw Cultural Exchange"
- "The First Rule Of Santa Monica"
- "The Girl Who Knew Too Much"
- "The Going Away Party"
- "The Great American Political Dialogue"
- "The Great Battery Shortage"
- "The Hardest Question in the World"
- "The Kurd and the American"
- "The Last of the Loyal Ones"
- "The Long Apology"
- "The Look In His Eyes"
- "The Man Who Lives a Day Ahead"
- "The Man in the White Suit: Part One"
- "The Man-Perm, or Ron Takes His Perm to Dinner"
- "The Miracle Of Life"
- "The Missionary"
- "The National Institute of Sleep Related Disorders: Patient # 1257"
- "The National Institute of Sleep Related Disorders: Patient #1325"
- "The National Institute of Sleep Related Disorders: Patient #1472"
- "The New Anti-Obesity Kindergarten: Playing, Coloring and Calisthenics"
- "The New Guy"
- "The New Lord of the Flies"
- "The New State-Sanctioned Phrase Book, or Please Splatter My Brain on Your Windshield"
- "The Odd Couple"
- "The Parable of the Man With No Talents, No Oil, and No Pearls, Just a Crappy Apartment and Some Junk Furniture"
- "The Perfectionist"
- "The Personal Assistant, Simply Convenient"
- "The Potter’s Defense"
- "The Power Supply"
- "The Problem With Lockers"
- "The Promised Land"
- "The Purloined Beater"
- "The Retirement Gift"
- "The Road"
- "The Saddest Parking Lot In All The World"
- "The Shipwright"
- "The Smartest Chimpanzee In The World"
- "The Sound of Alone"
- "The Substance of Things Hoped For"
- "The Sunflower Confessions"
- "The Tongue: A Double-Edged Sword"
- "The Word Exchange Rate"
- "The Wrestler"
- "The Young Hunter, Alone in the Woods with His First Kill"
- "Things Duct Tape Can't Fix #6"
- "Things Signed By A Chimpanzee Speaking English For The First Time, Trying Desperately To Explain Himself"
- "This Post-Game Activity Has Been Sponsored by . . ."
- "Those Who Travel By Bus Shall Remain Hidden"
- "Those Whose Talents Go Unused Shall Become Avenged"
- "Tip #69"
- "Titles are the Hardest Part"
- "To Whom It May Concern"
- "Tonight's Special"
- "Tooth Fairies"
- "Tragedy at Madonna's Final Reinvention"
- "Transition After Everyone Quit Working to Become Artists"
- "Truth, Justice, and the American Way"
- "Turn This Den of Iniquity into a House of Prayer"
- "Unemployment Blues"
- "Unless It's Tickle, Me, or Elmo, I Don't See Your Name On It Anywhere"
- "Upon Our Meeting In The Produce Section"
- "Vision Of The Glory (Holes)"
- "Visiting The Mall After Her Parents Lost Their Jobs"
- "What Happened After Tom Lost His Friends At The Party"
- "What I Knew About The Waitress"
- "What Scientists Know"
- "Who The Story Happened To"
- "Why Dad Was So Pissed When Ralph Puked"
- "Why There’s Porn In Them There Woods"
- "Wishbone III"
- "Wishbone"
- "XXL: Pre-Shrunk Durable Cotton Intellect"
- "You Must Have This Many Whiskers To Perform This Job, Part One"
- "You Must Have This Many Whiskers To Perform This Job, Part Two"
- "You Never Know What You're Gonna Get, But Sometimes You Should"
- "Your Monthly Language Tax Bill: Cost-Saving Tips"
- "generation e"
- 2, 6, 11, 14, 35, 44
- A False Sense of Security
- A Geography of Words
- A Non-Negotiable Accident
- After the Bomb: Nowhere, Alaska
- American Oblomov
- Anne McGeathy's "Walking Back"
- Another Decisive Moment
- BOOK RELEASE: Dancing On Fly Ash: One Hundred Word Stories
- Being John Updike (For A Few Minutes, Anyway)
- Best of DOFA, "Curious George and the Woman in the Yellow Hair"
- Best of DOFA, "Early Bird Beats the Worms"
- Best of DOFA, "First Thing When I Get Out"
- Best of DOFA, "First Time at the Intellectual Brothel"
- Best of DOFA, "Muse Trouble, or It's Hard to Find Good Help These Days"
- Best of DOFA, "The Evolution of Welfare (Remix)"
- Business as Usual
- Chicxulub, All Over Again
- Compulsory Education
- Criminal Intent
- David Letterman Saves the Day
- Dear Bloggers Who Got Bored,
- Death and Resurrection Therapy
- Delta College Invades Fly Ash!
- Father/Son Golf Outing
- Finding What was Lost, or It Will Be More Fun if We Don't Find Jimmy Hoffa
- Fly Ash Reviewed in Las Vegas CityLife
- For G.W.
- For J.B.: The Poem I Want to Share is Better than the Poems I Have Written
- GastroBlast!
- GeneTech: The Mother Decides
- Generation Gap 2025
- Google Jesus
- His Inevitable Disappointment in Great Artists
- Homecoming, After Being Kept Away These Many Years
- How Ray Kept His Healthcare Plan
- How the XXX Theater Was Saved After the Sun Disappeared
- I've Had Sex with Teri Hatcher, Beyonce Knowles, and Angelina Jolie (Though Not All at the Same Time)
- Indecision
- Inspiration Comes Standard
- Item Not Likely to be Found at Amazon.com
- It’s Not a Diet, Exactly
- Jeffrey vs. The World
- Keeping Up, Keeping Ahead
- Learning Curve
- Let No Man Be Held Accountable For What I Have Done
- Locks of Love Lost
- Matt's Website Redesigned
- Maybe That Klimt Painting Wasn't Really Worth the Whole $135 Million, But Jay Dyckman's Piece at McSweeney's Is Definitely Worth Reading
- McKarma
- Notes to Local Celebrities: Anchorman Dan Tanner
- OSHA Goes to the Theatre
- Oedipus Online
- On How Rick Moranis’s Patented Look After Hearing Dissatisfying and Bewildering Information Sums Up Our Contemporary Situation
- One Stupid Prayer…
- Our Final Goodbye, Again
- Out Looking for Angels
- P.D.A.
- Pop Quiz, Question #80
- Pop Quiz: Question #94
- Post-Exodus Dread Disorder
- Published: "How The Broken Lead The Blind Until They Both Become Something Else Entirely" in Smokelong Quarterly
- Published: "The Present" at juked.com
- Regarding His Hope for a Merely Temporary Absence
- Reinvention: Baby Shiloh
- Reinvention: Tom Cruise
- Remembering S.R.
- Results May Vary
- Root Canal
- Ryan Grondzik's "A Biological Imperative"
- Ryan Grondzik’s “The Joy That Kills”
- Shift Change
- Site News: Domain Blues
- Site News: Problems Solved
- Site News: Welcome
- Sleep Study
- Slow Times at Fly Ash
- Staci Haven’s “Real Life Definitions: Alcoholism”
- That’s the Wal-Mart Promise
- The Cheater
- The Complexity of Being a Messiah
- The Counting of the Dead
- The End of All Her Accidents
- The End of Fly Ash
- The End of Fly Ash
- The Factory Job
- The Gynecology of the Third Reich
- The Hewie Bill
- The Intercession of the Saints
- The Most Powerful Weapons in the World
- The New Regime
- The News at 11
- The Nothing Junkie
- The Prisoner
- The Suicide Motel
- The Thunder and the Lightning
- These Frictions
- Tonight's Reading at The Harvest (with audio!)
- UPCOMING EVENT: Barrelhouse Reading at the KGB Bar in New York City
- UPCOMING EVENT: Reading at the Harvest
- Urgent: Dated Material: Due Yesterday
- Web Sites: Cartoons Are Fun, Here Are a Few Examples
- Web Sites: Gallery of the Absurd
- What Happened After the Bombs, or Why Terrance Was Crying
- When There Are Jobs Americans Will Not Do
- Where's Yossarian?
- Why There Are Travel Agents
- Worth Reading: George Saunders's "Manifesto"
- Worth Reading: Microfiction at Opium Magazine
- Worth Reading: The Onion's "It's Funny How What You're Saying Relates To My Novel"
- Worth Reading: Three Flash Stories by Darby Hudson
- “A Ghost Story Never Before Told”
- “Back Alley Story”
- “Best Of: Missing Since December 1999”
- “I am the Foreman of Plant 49”
- “Last Dance”
- “Last Day as the Young Idealist”
- “Last Sunday, First Sunday”
- “Like Father, Like Son”
- “Missing Since December 1999”
- “One More”
- “Rachel”
- “Romance of the Ringtones”
- “The Amateur Photographer”
- “The Difference Between Failure and Masterpiece Is Not The Amount Of Time You Put In…”
- “The Rifles At Our Backs"
- “The War Of The Worlds: H.G. Well’s 2005”
- “Wishbone II”
